"Grandma always said to not talk to people who don't listen. Your words are precious and shouldn't be wasted on those who don't value them."
"The look on his face when he realized he'd had an orchidectomy instead of a vasectomy just about made me snort my coffee out my nose from laughing so hard."*
"If you know you're going to die without that candy maybe I should buy you some for now, take out a life insurance policy on you, and then refuse to buy you anymore from here on out"
Heard respectively in the sauna at the gym, the elevator at work, and the candy aisle of the grocery store. It's been an interesting week.
*Nobody lost their testicles by accident. It was part of a dramatization of what can go wrong in patient communications. I wasn't present, but apparently it was a hoot.